Neji's Nightmare
by Fate no Ito
Summary: Neji always had a pretense of knowing what he was doing, but even he has to deal with nightmares. A collaboration with a friend.


A/N: This is a fic made between me and my friend at school, over a course of around two/three math blocks and one science block. Amazing, what boredom and a random thought during English does for you. I admit, most of it was written by my friend...I suppose I beta-ed and written the first few paragraphs...as well as one of the last ones too...actually, I only wrote two portions (insert laugh).

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the other stuff that are mentioned in here.

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One fine Monday morning, Team Gai hung out at Lee's Favorite Training Spot, so famous that it deserves capital letters. Lee was walking down the street all posh and refined when all of a sudden, a random townsperson ran up.

"Wow, it's Konoha's best genin, Lee!" he exclaimed and pretty soon, others came flocking towards Lee, wanting his autograph.

Lee ignored them because he was all that and a bag of chips. Then, Neji appeared, literally jumping down from the heavens. Landing in the midst of all the townspeople, Neji BELL-owed, "Hey, Lee! Gai-sensei told me to give you this!"

He chucked a green spandex suit at lee, who caught it with his super-duper reflexes.

"And also, fight me!" yelled Neji, getting into his little Jyuuken stance, all ready to rumble. And win. Because Neji wants to PWN Lee.

Lee rolled his eyes and did the 'talk-to-the-hand' thing. "No, Neji. Go find Chouji or Kiba. You can beat them, at least."

"NO!" yelled Neji, having a fit. "I wanna fight Lee!"

"Fine." Lee turned and flicked Neji on the forehead so hard that Neji flew back, like, 80 feet.

Lying on the ground, Neji had a temper tantrum. "Main House...Branch House...Father...DESTINY!" Okay...so, it was more of a fit or an emotional breakdown...

Leaping out from nowhere, Gai helped Neji up and scolded Lee, "Lee! You know better than to go all out! Look at what you did to Neji!"

They both looked at Neji, who stood up and faced Lee. There was a moment of silence, then...

"Lee!" cried Neji, glomping him. "I want to be JUST LIKE YOU!"

Lee pushed Neji away. Neji did that crazy fist thing and said, "I'm gonna go TRAIN some more."

"Pssht." Went Lee and he walked away, leaving Gai there to rot or something. As he walked, he passed that barbecue restaurant where you can cook your meat right then and there on the table. Shikamaru and Chouji were there (of course) and they stared as Lee walked past.

"Wow, he's the strongest rookie and he can only use taijutsu!" said Chouji.

"Shut up, Chouji." said Shikamaru.

Chouji did that thing where you run your finger against your mouth like a zipper and smiled like Haruhi from Ouran.

Lee just kept walking, because he was just way too cool.

Neji, on the other hand, was running an unrealistic amount of laps that no thirteen-year-old should never need to run. But then, he tripped.

"Silly Neji!" Said Tenten, coming up beside him. "Winning is for Lee!"

Neji groaned and dropped his face in the mud.

At that moment, Naruto's team came strolling out from the ramen shop and saw Neji all dead on the ground. "Hey, look, a Neji." exclaimed Sakura, pointing even though it was rather rude to do so.

Naruto turned to say something to Sasuke but saw him literally towering over him.

"What the-why are you so tall?" he yelled, shaking his fist like Danny Phantom.

Sasuke just glowered at him like Murtagh. "I'm on a balcony, dumbass."

In a fit of rage, Naruto jumped up but Sasuke kicked him way.

And there was much wangsting!

But Neji ignored all that and walked away. Then he crashed into Kiba who was laughing like a deranged maniac at Neji's green spandex suit. Or he was laughing at a joke Shino told him. You can never know.

"Kiba!" yelled Neji angrily. "You're laughing all over my spandex!"

This made Kiba laugh even harder until Neji yelled those fateful two words...

"YOUR MOM!" Kiba just stared at Neji and his mud-covered spandex. Neji's face just looked so DEAD SERIOUS that Kiba thought Neji actually meant to insult his mother. however, Neji hadn't thought that far ahead and just stood there with his mouth open like a goldfish. Kiba started laughing again, even louder than before, and Neji was just so offended and tired of being laughed at that he socked Kiba right in the face.

"FIGHT ME!" He yelled, going into his Jyuuken stance for the second time that day. "ALL OF YOU, FIGHT ME!"

Sakura ran around screaming while Neji got the stuffing beat out of him by Kiba, Naruo and Sasuke.

"Ow...my spleen." whined Neji while Kiba high-fived Naruto. "Now I'll have to go and kick a log 500 times." Sasuke just 'hn'-ed because he was WAY above having to answer or help Neji.

Neji stood up (with Sakura's help) and ambled off to Lee's Favorite Training Spot. There he saw Lee kicking his favorite log.

Even though he just got the crap beat out of him, Neji still yelled, angry at the world. "FIGHT ME!"

Lee didn't even look at him. He simply chucked the log at poor Neji, who was thrown back 190 km and fainted after crashing into Temari, off in the Sand Village.

Temari just scoffed at Lee and continued on her merry way until Kakashi appeared since he was looking for Neji. Why? So he could make Neji versus Sasuke and watch as Sasuke KILL Gai's favorite student.

Sighing, he bent down and spirited Neji away, to Konoha village. After that task was done, Kakashi rolicked off, wanting to visit his dead lov-(cough)-friend.

After a day or two, Neji woke up and decided to go home since NOTHING was going right for him.

Walking back to the Hyuuga house, Neji spotted Hinata getting owned by Hanabi.

"If Hanabi can beat her, so can I!" Neji assured himself. Passing Main House members pointed and laughed at him and his spandex.

"HINATA!" yelled Neji, scaring the hell out of her. "FIGHT ME!"

Hinata was already bruised and battered and bandaged and bleeding and all manners of other things starting with B, but she decided to just let Neji beat her quickly.

They both got into their Jyuuken stances and dramatic music played in the background.

Neji yelled a pile of gibberish and ran towards Hinata...tripping and falling in the process.

Hinata skipped over and gave him a full-throttle Hakke. Neji's whole life beginning that morning when he was owned by Lee flashed before his eyes. Hinata was about to throw the final punch when...

Neji woke up.

How cliché.

Neji sat up in bed, kunai-themed pyjamas drenched in enough sweat to fill a swimming pool. He padded down the hall to Hinata's room. He walked over, poked her awake and said smugly, "I'm better than you."

Because Hinata just can't beat Neji.

Not even in a dream.


End file.
